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A Sign If You Can Trust A Man To Lead…

Jay

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    If he can’t plan a date with you then how is he going to plan a life with you, sis?

    What are your thoughts
    So true. If he doesn’t show leadership in the beginning, it ain’t just going to manifest.
     

    RCNAL

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    But we haven't been raising leaders as a collective, as a black community for a few decades now.
    Depending on what stats you adhere to 70 percent or so of us have no father in the home. That as of itself is not too bad if: a. a thorough black father that was active in the son's life. b. He has older, thorough relatives active in his life. c. a black coach who was active in his life at a young age d. pastor, deacon, etc.

    The young men these days have no idea what real leadership looks like. Not all, but way too many. Many of their moms raised to be son/husbands.

    And lets not blame the media, the music, the movies, etc. I grew up hearing the most ratchet rap, hearing songs glorifying pimping, women were B's and H's. Loved it, had it blaring in my room or car. But on a date I arrived at least 5 minutes early, opened the car door, picked up the check.

    Real talk? Planning a proper date should be basic as shyt. But it's gotten so bad out there in them streets and dating life it's the equivalent of 'I take care of my kids'
     
    MR-D-ROB
    MR-D-ROB
    I never really cared much for that kind of music. Being from Louisiana I hit my teen years when Cash Money, Lil Wayne, B.G., Juvenile and Big Tymers. They talked more about balling and making money and how fly they were. They did have a few songs like what you described but that wasn't the overall picture they were painting.

    Artist like Lil Keke who made Ballin in the Mix
    Fat Pat who made Tops Drop
    Yungstar who made Knockin Pictures Off the Wall

    Lil O, Big Moe, E.S.G. , Big Mike, Big Pokey were the type of artist I grew up on. I listened to their music bragging about being rich and balling. I focused on the music talking about accomplishments.

    We can't blame music because you are going to focus on what interests you.
    My cousin grew up with me and listened to a lot of the same music. He tended to listen more to music talking about having sex with women and pimping and stuff like that.

    I ended up going to the military completing my term and getting an honorable discharge. At that same time he moved to Oklahoma with a native american chick he barely knew. He ended up getting accused of rape by that chick and had to do 5 years in prison.
    He got out of prison around the time I was getting out of the army.

    Instead of learning from his mistakes and trying to move forward after he got out he kept focusing on chasing chicks. I ended up going to nursing school. I even bought him out to Texas to try to help him get on his feet. Of course he got out here around all these Hispanic women and couldn't control himself. I helped him get a job and even loaned him a vehicle. He was showing up to late work and ended up getting fired.

    He just couldn't get his focus off women.


    People focus on and go after what is important to them. Even music you are going to listen to what you relate to.
    D

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    You can't trust a man to lead if he does not do what he said he will do.
     
    RCNAL
    RCNAL
    Facts. The one thing that will get you respect from any one, even if they disagree with you politically, etc. is you are a man of your word. If someone can trust your handshake the same as a signed contract written by a lawyer, you are on your 'real man game' .

    MR-D-ROB

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    Leadership ability is just something you either have or don't have.
    As far as a family I don't view it as the man solely leads and his input is the end all be all.
    I look at my wife as a partner who can give me a different point of view. I even have out daughters give input on things. We all make decisions for the household together.
    While I am the breadwinner for the house my wife does help with making financial decisions. I didn't just pick which house and that is it. We all went together and looked at several houses. Everyone had their input and we decided together on what was best for us all.
    When we get vehicles, we alternate on picking. We get a price range, a type(SUV, truck, sedan etc), and then whoever turn it is picks what they like. The other partner has input but whoever turn it is has the final say.

    My wife has even had input on my career choice. It was her that suggested I change from law enforcement to nursing. It is something I'm glad she suggested. It was her that suggested me to apply for jobs in other areas of our state, a suggestion that really put my advancement into high gear. She networked for me and got me part time which increased our household substantially.

    I lead but it isn't a solo endeavor. I look to my wife to give me advice and her opinion.

    This is why women that feel like their looks and just because they have a p*ssy is enough are out of touch and incorrect. There are 7 billion people on this planet and more than half of them are women. A substantial portion of those are attractive so having a p*ssy and good looks isn't special. It's not even rare.

    A woman that can advise you in the right direction and give her input that helps you move forward is something to be admired. A woman that has skills and can bring those to the household is even more valuable.

    That's how I view it!