The Cookout

Stan Zero · 11/30/21

My aunt and uncle recently announced they were getting a divorce this Thanksgiving weekend and it made me think a lot. These two were once inseparable with one another. I noticed each time they interacted that there was true love there. But after 15 years of marriage, they're calling it quits and are moving into different directions.

Is it destined that eventually people just fall apart from one another? Lose interest in one another? Fall out of love? I love my girlfriend right now, but I fear that one day she will look at me, and will peace out. I always have heard from others that humans are meant to not stick with one partner, and I don't agree with that. But I don't know what 10-20 years from now how we'll be together. Will we still be in love, or will we be losing interest in each other?

Bruh Man · 12/1/21

Stan Zero said:
My aunt and uncle recently announced they were getting a divorce this Thanksgiving weekend and it made me think a lot. These two were once inseparable with one another. I noticed each time they interacted that there was true love there. But after 15 years of marriage, they're calling it quits and are moving into different directions.

Is it destined that eventually people just fall apart from one another? Lose interest in one another? Fall out of love? I love my girlfriend right now, but I fear that one day she will look at me, and will peace out. I always have heard from others that humans are meant to not stick with one partner, and I don't agree with that. But I don't know what 10-20 years from now how we'll be together. Will we still be in love, or will we be losing interest in each other?

You can’t give absolutes when you aint dealing with constants. People change, circumstances change, wants/needs change, paths change and with that can come shifts that change the way you look at shit. We can look at it like Rocafella. Dame was the engine in that shit in the beginning, his hustle, drive, uncompromising attitude propelled them into stardom and made them millionaires. But after they became millionaire his hustle, drive, uncompromising attitude became their biggest weakness. The circumstances of their relationship changed and Jay changed with the circumstances, dame didnt and that made them bump heads. I dont know them niggas personally but you can see how dame was barking on Def Jam execs and acting like a NY street nigga in corporate settings while this nigga Jay going to art galleries. The things that made Dame the perfect partner for Jay in the beginning now put them at odds. It’s like that in life and sometimes it dont even be no hard feelings.

ToGeTherAgain#21 · 12/1/21

I have read each reply and believe you are all right, but what I didn't read is that "Love" is more than emotion and feeling it also requires commitment as well and that is some hard work, don't misunderstand me if 2 people do not have love for one another the wis think to do is part ways. Nothing is forever we only get one life so love on who your with love on them hard make sure they know and make sure you tell your lover you want the same to be loved on and know it, most of all be honest to each other.

B1

Bruh Man · 12/1/21

ToGeTherAgain#21 said:
I have read each reply and believe you are all right, but what I didn't read is that "Love" is more than emotion and feeling it also requires commitment as well and that is some hard work, don't misunderstand me if 2 people do not have love for one another the wis think to do is part ways. Nothing is forever we only get one life so love on who your with love on them hard make sure they know and make sure you tell your lover you want the same to be loved on and know it, most of all be honest to each other.

B1

This is super true. Being in a union is work. Sometimes the work is easy, sometimes the work is hard, but it’s the check at the end that makes it work it. If the check is no longer of value then the work becomes a chore and both partners no longer see the value of commitment.

HeffDawg · 12/2/21

Stan Zero said:
My aunt and uncle recently announced they were getting a divorce this Thanksgiving weekend and it made me think a lot. These two were once inseparable with one another. I noticed each time they interacted that there was true love there. But after 15 years of marriage, they're calling it quits and are moving into different directions.

Is it destined that eventually people just fall apart from one another? Lose interest in one another? Fall out of love? I love my girlfriend right now, but I fear that one day she will look at me, and will peace out. I always have heard from others that humans are meant to not stick with one partner, and I don't agree with that. But I don't know what 10-20 years from now how we'll be together. Will we still be in love, or will we be losing interest in each other?

You destined for anything and everything to happen, it’s all in the decisions you make. A relationship is two agendas merging together but overtime what if those two agendas diverge? You either reconcile, live unhappily, or split. It takes effort which is why you shouldn’t be in it if you aren’t committed to it.

sourgrapes · 12/2/21

If you go into a relationship with the idea and the concept of "falling in love" then yes. I don't believe in falling in love, I believe in falling in lust. It is healthy and very natural for people to have this happen but you can't put love and lust on the same platform. Love is commitment and follow-through. It is a choice. Lust comes and goes but real love lasts. Just my opinion on it.

Blackgravity · 12/2/21

Stan Zero said:
My aunt and uncle recently announced they were getting a divorce this Thanksgiving weekend and it made me think a lot. These two were once inseparable with one another. I noticed each time they interacted that there was true love there. But after 15 years of marriage, they're calling it quits and are moving into different directions.

Is it destined that eventually people just fall apart from one another? Lose interest in one another? Fall out of love? I love my girlfriend right now, but I fear that one day she will look at me, and will peace out. I always have heard from others that humans are meant to not stick with one partner, and I don't agree with that. But I don't know what 10-20 years from now how we'll be together. Will we still be in love, or will we be losing interest in each other?

Yes you can fall out of love/like, I've been in my marriage over 2 decades and feelings can fluctuate, it can depend on a bunch of factors and situations. Some days I wake up and can't stand to be around my wife, and there are days where I want her around all the time.
over time things wear out, even feelings.

Stan Zero · 12/4/21

Bruh Man said:
You can’t give absolutes when you aint dealing with constants. People change, circumstances change, wants/needs change, paths change and with that can come shifts that change the way you look at ish. We can look at it like Rocafella. Dame was the engine in that ish in the beginning, his hustle, drive, uncompromising attitude propelled them into stardom and made them millionaires. But after they became millionaire his hustle, drive, uncompromising attitude became their biggest weakness. The circumstances of their relationship changed and Jay changed with the circumstances, dame didnt and that made them bump heads. I dont know them niggas personally but you can see how dame was barking on Def Jam execs and acting like a NY street nigga in corporate settings while this nigga Jay going to art galleries. The things that made Dame the perfect partner for Jay in the beginning now put them at odds. It’s like that in life and sometimes it dont even be no hard feelings.

Yeah i get that people change. Just sucks I guess, because ya kinda lose hope when you see two people who once loved each other peace out. But I suppose people change, times change, and people lose interest.

ToGeTherAgain#21 said:
I have read each reply and believe you are all right, but what I didn't read is that "Love" is more than emotion and feeling it also requires commitment as well and that is some hard work, don't misunderstand me if 2 people do not have love for one another the wis think to do is part ways. Nothing is forever we only get one life so love on who your with love on them hard make sure they know and make sure you tell your lover you want the same to be loved on and know it, most of all be honest to each other.

B1

For sure, commitment is key. And if there is no longer love between the two, then I suppose it's best to just move on. There could still be love there for sure, but it's different love.

HeffDawg said:
You destined for anything and everything to happen, it’s all in the decisions you make. A relationship is two agendas merging together but overtime what if those two agendas diverge? You either reconcile, live unhappily, or split. It takes effort which is why you shouldn’t be in it if you aren’t committed to it.

I 100% agree. If there is no love left to give then splitting up would probably be best for both sides. It's better than living unhappily as well.

sourgrapes said:
If you go into a relationship with the idea and the concept of "falling in love" then yes. I don't believe in falling in love, I believe in falling in lust. It is healthy and very natural for people to have this happen but you can't put love and lust on the same platform. Love is commitment and follow-through. It is a choice. Lust comes and goes but real love lasts. Just my opinion on it.

I can see that. When I meet a woman, it's mostly lust to begin with, but eventually it may turn into love. For me when it comes to love, it's more than just sex. Love is the point where you look forward to going home to see her, or you get depressed thinking about the future when she won't be there. That's how I feel at least.

Blackgravity said:
Yes you can fall out of love/like, I've been in my marriage over 2 decades and feelings can fluctuate, it can depend on a bunch of factors and situations. Some days I wake up and can't stand to be around my wife, and there are days where I want her around all the time.
over time things wear out, even feelings.

Yeah that's what scares me. Because right now I am madly in love with my girlfriend. The idea of living with her the rest of my life is something I want to do. But I do fear the possibility of the two of us losing interest in one another. But I guess I should just live for now and see where it takes me.

Blackgravity · 12/4/21

Stan Zero said:
Yeah that's what scares me. Because right now I am madly in love with my girlfriend. The idea of living with her the rest of my life is something I want to do. But I do fear the possibility of the two of us losing interest in one another. But I guess I should just live for now and see where it takes me.

you never know, the best thing to do is live for the now and don't worry about the the time. just live, make memories and enjoy each other.

HeffDawg · 12/4/21

Stan Zero said:
I 100% agree. If there is no love left to give then splitting up would probably be best for both sides. It's better than living unhappily as well.

Life’s too short playboy.

Kenton_Jerome · 12/4/21

Stan Zero said:
My aunt and uncle recently announced they were getting a divorce this Thanksgiving weekend and it made me think a lot. These two were once inseparable with one another. I noticed each time they interacted that there was true love there. But after 15 years of marriage, they're calling it quits and are moving into different directions.

Is it destined that eventually people just fall apart from one another? Lose interest in one another? Fall out of love? I love my girlfriend right now, but I fear that one day she will look at me, and will peace out. I always have heard from others that humans are meant to not stick with one partner, and I don't agree with that. But I don't know what 10-20 years from now how we'll be together. Will we still be in love, or will we be losing interest in each other?

In these days of instant gratification and no fault divorce it looks that way. The divorce rate is high and women file for divorce the majority of the time, the odds are against you. You can't live life in fear you never know what is going on behind the scenes in other peoples relationships. It is a tough call either way.

Jay · 12/4/21

Kenton_Jerome said:
In these days of instant gratification and no fault divorce it looks that way. The divorce rate is high and women file for divorce the majority of the time, the odds are against you. You can't live life in fear you never know what is going on behind the scenes in other peoples relationships. It is a tough call either way.

Exactly. The bolded is so real. Some people get married and never go beyond superficial conversation they go off feelings and emotion and when they hit some adversity it all falls apart.

sourgrapes · 12/5/21

Stan Zero said:
I can see that. When I meet a woman, it's mostly lust to begin with, but eventually it may turn into love. For me when it comes to love, it's more than just sex. Love is the point where you look forward to going home to see her, or you get depressed thinking about the future when she won't be there. That's how I feel at least.

Exactly. Love is that commitment and longing. Sexual desire always comes from lust. You don't need lust to have a healthy, strong relationship but you do need love, commitment, and respect for the person you are with.

TheHarmattan · 12/5/21

Bruh Man said:
You can’t give absolutes when you aint dealing with constants. People change, circumstances change, wants/needs change, paths change and with that can come shifts that change the way you look at ish. We can look at it like Rocafella. Dame was the engine in that ish in the beginning, his hustle, drive, uncompromising attitude propelled them into stardom and made them millionaires. But after they became millionaire his hustle, drive, uncompromising attitude became their biggest weakness. The circumstances of their relationship changed and Jay changed with the circumstances, dame didnt and that made them bump heads. I dont know them niggas personally but you can see how dame was barking on Def Jam execs and acting like a NY street nigga in corporate settings while this nigga Jay going to art galleries. The things that made Dame the perfect partner for Jay in the beginning now put them at odds. It’s like that in life and sometimes it dont even be no hard feelings.

Forget the gay aspect of the talk. Listen to how he describes marriage and the vows. "Destined to fall out of love" shouldn't exist if you got married with the right idea in mind.

View: https://youtu.be/2VBgBnKENE4

TheHarmattan · 12/5/21

sourgrapes said:
Exactly. Love is that commitment and longing. Sexual desire always comes from lust. You don't need lust to have a healthy, strong relationship but you do need love, commitment, and respect for the person you are with.

What's the difference between lust and longing other than the procedure to how you get him/her?

I'm not embarrassed to say this but I really liked the lead singer from Family Stand. In my eyes she was the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. I wanted her to have my seed. Really. I could listen to her sing and her smile makes me crush.

Anyhow, lust and longing came from the same place. That's my point. I never had feelings for Roseanne. I can't lust or long for her.

Here's my baby

View: https://youtu.be/AoIaDkJfBRY

sourgrapes · 12/6/21

TheHarmattan said:
What's the difference between lust and longing other than the procedure to how you get him/her?

I'm not embarrassed to say this but I really liked the lead singer from Family Stand. In my eyes she was the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. I wanted her to have my seed. Really. I could listen to her sing and her smile makes me crush.

Anyhow, lust and longing came from the same place. That's my point. I never had feelings for Roseanne. I can't lust or long for her.

Here's my baby

View: https://youtu.be/AoIaDkJfBRY

Lust is sexual desire and attraction. It is skin deep and from the hormonal mental state of the mind. Longing can come from a place of friendship, family, worship, etc.

georgiaclay2022 · 12/11/21

People are destined to change… usually… how a relationship manages that change is the issue. Some relationships unravel as the people change, some don’t. There are a lot of variables too. Was it a healthy relationship initially or was it a trauma bonding thing? Have the needs of either changed significantly? Just a lot of factors…

Uncle Geoff/P2B1 · 12/15/21

Stan Zero said:
My aunt and uncle recently announced they were getting a divorce this Thanksgiving weekend and it made me think a lot. These two were once inseparable with one another. I noticed each time they interacted that there was true love there. But after 15 years of marriage, they're calling it quits and are moving into different directions.

Is it destined that eventually people just fall apart from one another? Lose interest in one another? Fall out of love? I love my girlfriend right now, but I fear that one day she will look at me, and will peace out. I always have heard from others that humans are meant to not stick with one partner, and I don't agree with that. But I don't know what 10-20 years from now how we'll be together. Will we still be in love, or will we be losing interest in each other?

WOW...

Gotta ASK...

Why ruin THANKSGIVING wit dat? Ain't dat kanna SELFISH? Didn't they put the stain of this on yall's family thanksgiving until the kids NOW are grown?

Uncle Geoff/P2B1 · 12/15/21

ToGeTherAgain#21 said:
I have read each reply and believe you are all right, but what I didn't read is that "Love" is more than emotion and feeling it also requires commitment as well and that is some hard work, don't misunderstand me if 2 people do not have love for one another the wis think to do is part ways. Nothing is forever we only get one life so love on who your with love on them hard make sure they know and make sure you tell your lover you want the same to be loved on and know it, most of all be honest to each other.

B1

Gotta CO SIGN NISS... A relationship is a GARDEN: the 2 of you must BOTH WATER it. You can look up one day, have genuine respect and admiration for that person... but NO LOVE. No EROS. No SPARK. You gotta take RESPONSIBILITY, ACTIVE RESPONSIBILITY regarding the ,aintenance of yall's THANG...

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