The Cookout

[MR-D-ROB]

View: https://youtu.be/mH379rVRVYI

 

[GwynShivers]

View: https://youtu.be/mH379rVRVYI

Not ALL men are broke, not ALL women are woke & vice versa!

 

[Sapphire]

Men used to provide. Some women had homemaker careers that earned much less but it was extra spending money she could enjoy outside of spending her husband's money to buy groceries and whatnot. Those days are long gone. Most women will need to work because there are not enough high paying jobs for all the men out there to be providers. So unless you plan on dating older men, you have to find someone with a game plan and just hope when you have children, you won't need to work anymore after they are born.

There are men who CAN swing it and be a provider and women who do make amazing stay-at-home housewives and mothers... But the reality of it is, unless you start your hustle young as a man and you avoid college as a woman, you will just end up in the same trap as everyone else. Women who go to college are now estimated to be not only the least likely to marry but the most likely to divorce if they do marry and men are seeking younger women who are more family-oriented, especially men who got money. The dudes out there with straps of cash aren't looking for some college graduate in her 30s, he is looking for someone fresh and undamaged who can carry his offspring.

 

[TeeGee]

I want people to stop been stereotypical and start saying the truth, as a man you need to be financially stable before even considering getting into a relationship, in this our society men are known to shoulder the responsibility of the woman he chooses to go out with but it is still quite an issue when the woman doesn't reciprocate such actions.

If a man is Caring enough to buy you lunch why not surprise him with dinner , to me I see that as an evidence of Independence and that the woman is capable enough to be on her own and that would only increase how much I value her as a person.

 

[GwynShivers]

We've ALWAYS split bills 50/50. That way, we both have money for whatever else, after priorities.
I just don't feel my husband should solely bare the responsibility alone, when I get two checks per month. 🤷🏽‍♀️

 

[Nesut]

We've ALWAYS split bills 50/50. That way, we both have money for whatever else, after priorities.
I just don't feel my husband should solely bare the responsibility alone, when I get two checks per month. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Ok you’re a good one.

 

[The Honorable]

Men used to provide. Some women had homemaker careers that earned much less but it was extra spending money she could enjoy outside of spending her husband's money to buy groceries and whatnot. Those days are long gone. Most women will need to work because there are not enough high paying jobs for all the men out there to be providers. So unless you plan on dating older men, you have to find someone with a game plan and just hope when you have children, you won't need to work anymore after they are born.

There are men who CAN swing it and be a provider and women who do make amazing stay-at-home housewives and mothers... But the reality of it is, unless you start your hustle young as a man and you avoid college as a woman, you will just end up in the same trap as everyone else. Women who go to college are now estimated to be not only the least likely to marry but the most likely to divorce if they do marry and men are seeking younger women who are more family-oriented, especially men who got money. The dudes out there with straps of cash aren't looking for some college graduate in her 30s, he is looking for someone fresh and undamaged who can carry his offspring.

Wage stagnation and cost of living increases made the “sole income provider” an impossibility for a lot of men. You now have to be exceptional as a Black man to earn enough to be the sole provider and NOT struggle.

 

[GwynShivers]

Ok you’re a good one.

Thanks brother, my Father taught me at a young age, how men should be treated & how women should be treated.

 

[MR-D-ROB]

Not ALL men are broke, not ALL women are woke & vice versa!

Did you watch any of the video?

 

[Deleted member 191]

Thanks brother, my Father taught me at a young age, how men should be treated & how women should be treated.

Same and Facts.

 

[Deleted member 1348]

Bottom line is the less you make as a man, the less leverage you have in demands on your woman, especially if she is also working. More you make, the more leverage you have to demand more. That hasn't changed, ever. Doesn't matter if you are black or non black. That's a relationship dynamic that is pervasive and ongoing.

If you are a dime woman, and I mean dime in not just looks but personality, right age, etc. you have more say than others as you have more men competing for you.

Each couple works out roles. I know guys who love to cook and do a great job either their backyard grill game or in the kitchen. (Sidenote: women LOVE a man that can cook well. It's just behind a man who can fix things around the house.)

If a woman married a beta and now expecting him to be an alpha, that's on her. I think I heard Jason Black accurately say, a man marries a woman hoping she won't change and a woman marries man trying to change him. Or something to that effect.

 

[Sovereign]

Bottom line is the less you make as a man, the less leverage you have in demands on your woman, especially if she is also working. More you make, the more leverage you have to demand more. That hasn't changed, ever. Doesn't matter if you are black or non black. That's a relationship dynamic that is pervasive and ongoing.

If you are a dime woman, and I mean dime in not just looks but personality, right age, etc. you have more say than others as you have more men competing for you.

Each couple works out roles. I know guys who love to cook and do a great job either their backyard grill game or in the kitchen. (Sidenote: women LOVE a man that can cook well. It's just behind a man who can fix things around the house.)

If a woman married a beta and now expecting him to be an alpha, that's on her. I think I heard Jason Black accurately say, a man marries a woman hoping she won't change and a woman marries man trying to change him. Or something to that effect.

So in summary, it’s about leverage. The less leverage you have, the less demands you can make. It’s like trying to get the record label to let you own the masters but you aren’t bringing any money to the table. You can’t get your woman to agree to a relationship where you have 100% of the authority if she is paying 51% of the bills. It doesn’t make sense.

 

[educatedman23]

Not ALL men are broke, not ALL women are woke & vice versa!

fully agree

 

[Deleted member 1348]

So in summary, it’s about leverage. The less leverage you have, the less demands you can make. It’s like trying to get the record label to let you own the masters but you aren’t bringing any money to the table. You can’t get your woman to agree to a relationship where you have 100% of the authority if she is paying 51% of the bills. It doesn’t make sense.

There are exceptions to everything, the fairy tale falling in love where you both want to keep the other happy. It's rare. The rest is leverage. Michael Jordan remarried. She married a multi billionaire. Who do you think has to adjust to whom? It's an extreme example but it works. Steadman dates Oprah. Extreme example again, but you think Steadman is complaining to Oprah what she ain't doing?

Of course you can't get a woman to agree to a relationship where you get 100% of the authority if you are paying 51% of the bills today. It was common for married black men and women working in the 50s, and prior. Not all but it was common enough. Relationships were more based on biblical teaching (man head of the house), traditional roles. That ish has changed. White supremacy has wreaked havoc on the black family while we are still socio-economically the bottom group. Black women now grow up with no black father and hardly any black male role models. Complete opposite stats in the 1950s. Sisters don't have the same view of black men than their great grand mothers did. Sisters view of black men and their roles has changed I think because of the way the average black family is today (single mother headed, father has no or very little involvement in their lives).

The best course is hopefully there is a discussion on what roles each will play prior to hooking up like that. Today people cohabitate at the drop of a dime. I think these problems happen because they weren't defined roles prior in many cases.

 

[Barida]

I want people to stop been stereotypical and start saying the truth, as a man you need to be financially stable before even considering getting into a relationship, in this our society men are known to shoulder the responsibility of the woman he chooses to go out with but it is still quite an issue when the woman doesn't reciprocate such actions.

If a man is Caring enough to buy you lunch why not surprise him with dinner , to me I see that as an evidence of Independence and that the woman is capable enough to be on her own and that would only increase how much I value her as a person.

I agree with you on this. A man should be able to provide for himself and being comfortable before even thinking of providing for a woman. Broke men going into relationships and marriages have made relationships look like it doesn't favor people. I am sure that when more men focus on making money first before thinking of any relationship, life will certainly be better.

 

[Sapphire]

Wage stagnation and cost of living increases made the “sole income provider” an impossibility for a lot of men. You now have to be exceptional as a Black man to earn enough to be the sole provider and NOT struggle.

For sure and these men are considered top tier and ladies FIGHT over them. If they don't have good morals, they can easily take advantage of multiple women and a lot of them would put up with the lies and cheating just to have stability. It is sad!

 

[MR-D-ROB]

Bottom line is the less you make as a man, the less leverage you have in demands on your woman, especially if she is also working. More you make, the more leverage you have to demand more. That hasn't changed, ever. Doesn't matter if you are black or non black. That's a relationship dynamic that is pervasive and ongoing.

If you are a dime woman, and I mean dime in not just looks but personality, right age, etc. you have more say than others as you have more men competing for you.

Each couple works out roles. I know guys who love to cook and do a great job either their backyard grill game or in the kitchen. (Sidenote: women LOVE a man that can cook well. It's just behind a man who can fix things around the house.)

If a woman married a beta and now expecting him to be an alpha, that's on her. I think I heard Jason Black accurately say, a man marries a woman hoping she won't change and a woman marries man trying to change him. Or something to that effect.

Basically supply and demand.

My only thing is why are we letting looks somehow be of so much value.

Dimes (at least when it comes to looks) come a dime a dozen. No pun intended.

I personally don't want a woman whose main thing is looks. I prefer a woman who looks good like anyone else, but arrogance can be a set back.

A woman who is saying she will only date a man who makes x amount is always a bad idea.

My wife dated me back when I wasn't doing quite as well. I wasn't doing horrible but I wasn't anywhere close to what I am now.

I'm where I am now not because that's what it took to keep her but because she pushed me and helped to get there.

That's bringing something to the table. She helped me study. She shopped for study guides for me. She helped me with looking for jobs. When things were not going so well she motivated me to keep going. She helped me prepare for interviews, apply for and land a job that got us out of the hole.

My wife by no means has to work. I make more than enough for our family to be okay. She still goes to work though just out of principle, even though I don't really want her to. She wants to feel like she is doing something to contribute.

To me that's not just a dime. That's the whole checkbook!

 

[Sovereign]

Basically supply and demand.

My only thing is why are we letting looks somehow be of so much value.

Dimes (at least when it comes to looks) come a dime a dozen. No pun intended.

I personally don't want a woman whose main thing is looks. I prefer a woman who looks good like anyone else, but arrogance can be a set back.

A woman who is saying she will only date a man who makes x amount is always a bad idea.

My wife dated me back when I wasn't doing quite as well. I wasn't doing horrible but I wasn't anywhere close to what I am now.

I'm where I am now not because that's what it took to keep her but because she pushed me and helped to get there.

That's bringing something to the table. She helped me study. She shopped for study guides for me. She helped me with looking for jobs. When things were not going so well she motivated me to keep going. She helped me prepare for interviews, apply for and land a job that got us out of the hole.

My wife by no means has to work. I make more than enough for our family to be okay. She still goes to work though just out of principle, even though I don't really want her to. She wants to feel like she is doing something to contribute.

To me that's not just a dime. That's the whole checkbook!

Looks ain’t everything but no one wants a highly competent woman that’s rough on the eyes. Like Jason Black says, looks are currency. The true dimes are the women with looks and competence.