The Coon Next Door – Vol. 1

Close your eyes and say the word “coon”…who immediately comes to mind? Is it Larry Elder, Herschel Walker, Candace Owens, Terry Crews or some other despicable character belonging to the pantheon of coonery? What if I told you that cooning is not some behavior reserved for the most uppity of tea sipping negroes? What if it was your next-door neighbor, your teacher, the gangster up the block, or even closer, your mom or dad? In this article, we will explore how extreme examples of coonery e.g., Larry Elder provide cover for The Coon Next Door.

What is Cooning?

One answer of note comes by way of Brando Simeo Starkey who wrote: “A Black person who puts on a specific performance for white people — a performance whereby a Black person says things or performs acts to ingratiate himself or herself in exchange for the social rewards white folk can grant.” This has served as the unofficial definition within modern Black American parlance and has allowed us to shine a light on self-serving backstabbers.

One individual who exemplifies this definition is Larry Elder, aka the MVP of modern-day cooning. For decades, he has misused statistics and history to denigrate Black Americans to the benefit of his White paymasters. While he may be rather egregious, we make a grave mistake by presenting him and individuals of his ilk as the faces of coonery. Why?

Well, if Larry Elder and the like are deemed the faces of coonery, all lesser forms of betrayal are trivialized since they pale in comparison to the actions of an Elder, Owens, or Crews. By doing this, we have created an air pocket in the shipwreck of Black society for a class of individuals who passively promote and reinforce white supremacist doctrine. From here forth these individuals will be referred to as Subconscious Coons. Before we go into detail, let’s define terms.

What Does Coon Mean?

  • Definition of Coon – A Black person who betrays black society in hopes to gain benefits and/or praise from the dominant group.
  • Subconscious Coon – A Black person who provides white people and their institutions a level of respect, cooperation and understanding that they are unwilling to provide to their own.

Unraveling the Subconscious Coon

Cooning and subconscious cooning are similar in that they both result in the sabotaging and betrayal of Black society. The major difference is that subconscious cooning is rarely transactional and stems from the belief that White people are deserving of respect, cooperation, and understanding while Black people are not. The result of Subconscious coonery is the substantiation of the White Supremacist claim that Black people are unruly savages incapable of self-sustainment and governance. The subconscious coon works relentlessly to ensure that all Black community interactions fall within the guidelines of White Supremacist doctrine. Please reference the Subconscious Cooning Matrix to see how race impacts how these individuals behave in common scenarios.

Subconscious Cooning Matrix

For comprehension’s sake, the sample coon in the matrix will be referred to as “Terry”. 

...and the Person or Entity is White

…and the Person or Entity is Black

When an issue arises that calls for verbal and/or physical confrontation…

Terry shows extreme care for consequence and rule of law. Surrenders his agency to a higher power.

Terry attacks the person without hesitation and/or restraint

When an item they wish to procure is outside of their budget…

Terry pays full price for the item or returns when he has the means to do so. He makes no commotion and respects the store’s pricing.

Terry haggles the price with the owner and uses the experience to denigrate all Black businesses. If Terry does not get his way he will start recommending that people go elsewhere.

When frequenting a establishment with a code of conduct…

Terry takes pride in showing others that he is able to abide by the code of conduct.

Terry displays lack of regard for rules and demands the ability to partake in whatever degenerate behaviors he please.

When an individual is promoting a positive endeavor within the community….

Terry respects their cause, supports it, and proselytizes to others.

Terry does a deep investigation on individual, scrutinizes their economic status, motive, and accuses them of scamming the community.

When someone breaks the law…

Terry gives the person the benefit of the doubt and makes it clear that the culpability resides exclusively with the offender.

Terry assigns that individual’s actions to the entire race and use it to justify hundreds of years of racial terrorism.

As noted in the matrix, all interactions between the subconscious coon and any other Black person became confrontational, tacky, and unproductive.

The most devious aspect of the subconscious coon is that their true feelings regarding the Black community are only demonstrated when they are triggered by a certain place, activity, etc. You could be friends with a subconscious coon and not be aware until you’re in a circumstance like the scenarios in the Subconscious Coon Matrix. When this transpires, do not brush it to the side, it is your friend showing their true nature and unwillingness to be on code, they are the coon next door.

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  1. Funnily enough, immediate family members come to mind on the topic of coons. Even the youngest generation! It’s as if we’ve collectively lost our self worth as a group -soooo sad and disturbing!

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