haha...don't get it twisted. Sistas still frustrate the eff out of me, but dating has never been easy in any era. Ask old men and women who were dating in the '70s, 60s, even 50s. If they are honest it was tough then. Tough for anyone.
That said, and follow me on this. I think this whole, growing, FBA thing, reparations thing, all that, will morph into changing dating. It will be hard talking about reparations and being foundational if your lifestyle isn't showing it. Tariq is a happiy married man. Jason Black talks about social life like a conservative. Dr. Umar Johnson (his issues aside) also talks about black people only dating each other.
The last time we had this kind of internal movement (late '60s, Black Panthers, Nation of Islam, etc) black society acted conservatively socially. You couldn't have 2 or 3 baby mamas talking about you are a revolutionary. You couldn't be talkinga about swirling. The same will happen in the upcoming months, years as this other movement starts getting bigger.
Good quality sisters even back in the day still found it hard to find a good man. They were smarter. They locked down good brothers early. He may not have been the best looking. He may have not had the best personality but he had a steady job and wanted to settle down. The brothers knew back in the day, they were better off with a good sista. They locked down a quality sista early. These days, sistas are the last to lock down quality guys. A sista is cute, men are on her bumper tough, she always thinks she can still pull like that later. She waits till early 30s and all of a sudden the choices get a bit tough. Asian women lock down producers the earliers. Then white women. Latina wmen lock down good men early. Sistas? Y'all wait too long. That nerdy guy with a good job is gonna go with Becky or the first decent looking sista who gives him attention. I've seen it. I may even have been him. haha
Brothers? We often think just because we aren't in jail, on drugs, either don't have a kid or have 1 we are the catch because statistically we are not in the other categories but we are stagnant, not making a lot. I got a few homies, love 'em to death. The go to the DR (Dominican Republic) a few times a year because 'sisters at the crib be trippin'. They got some personal issues (either financially, maybe bitter from a divorce, etc) that just isn't attractive to decent sistas.
The fact is the present problems between black men and women are a result of decades of targeting the black community and the black family as a whole. It doesn't solve the problem but it explains it. Now that we know what it is, all we can do is be the best damn version of ourselves and I gotta believe the best damn version of the opposite sex will find you. I gotta believe and trust that if you are a good brotha, sistas will see it. It may be at work, or where ever. Same with sistas. If you are on point, and go down a couple sizes if you know you really a bit too big for most men. If you really work on being more feminine, good guys will see that. We both gotta work on ourselves. And hope for the best but we can't make unforced errors (out of shape, bad finances or attitude).