There is a white guy I used to work with in the Middle East. We didn't talk prior, there was about 80 of us, we kept it professional, spoke only when needing to. At one time he was a filled in as our boss when a previous boss left. I was wary from jump because we had a cook out and the first encounter he had a southern accent, and on one shoulder a tattoo of the American flag on the other a tattoo of the Confederate flag. Had a beard and had a militia vibe about him. Didn't joke much, spoke seriously, rarely smiled.
I kept it business. Interesting thing enough he hung with the black guys that I knew which made me wonder. He had alt right written all over him. Anyway, while around a couple of the brothers he came around and obviously I was wary. And kinda low key looked at them like 'Y'all know he got a confederate flag tattoo don't y'all?'.
We had a Whatsapp group for our job for messages that needed to be convyed...okay...okay...I'm getting there. Wait. He tried to be friends, or at least friendly. He was going on a road trip to Bahrain (country is lit by the way, the 'Vegas' of the ME, not in gambling but clubs, etc), invited me along, I went along.
Anyway, long story short, when he went back to America he tried keeping in touch as he had my whatsapp info. I ignored it. He then asked me a question so I responded. We had political and social issues/race related discussions. I tried avoiding it because I know where it would go but y'all know me, sometimes I get triggered.
We had some discussions on reparations, etc. Here is the kicker, he only dates non white women. He had a Turkish gf when he worked with us. The closest he said he came to dating a white woman is Israeli. He dated black women, Arab, Persian, Turkish, etc and in America in his area there are not only black women, but Creole as well as the odd Arab, Latino, African, woman from the university which is a huge, division 1 university with over 30k students.
I asked him a question about the Black women he meets on tinder, match.com etc. We discussed the divestors, swirlers, etc. this is his response to the question: Your honest opinion on your experience with the Black women who only date white men. And what your black friends (he has a few, all successful by American standards, educated, great career), what they say about today's Black women.
"From what I've personally seen and heard from eligible Black men, when they encounter "eligible" Black women (meaning surface, looks, educated, smart, career) they don't know how to 'act'. One friend broke it down to me in one word: attitude.
She'll give me attitude on the first date but with you acts completely different. (His successful Black friend with a master's in engineering said this. He's met a girl or two of this white guys black date and says she would act differently were it him).
The few (black) American and British women I've met on the first date, within the first hour start ripping into Black men.
1. That's when I know I'm getting laid. I let them vent, over dinner, movie or whatever and 3 hours later, I get laid first date, 99 percent of the time.
2. I know they are getting back at a Black ex."
His guess on the hard core swirlers/divestors (and this guy is Republican, far right politics. I would even say white nationalist, which is a dichotomy).
"1. White men are all they know in terms of daddy figures. No father, no influential father figure black men in their life growing up.
2. Piss off /get back at Black men.
3. Curiosity/Fetish about White men
4. Desire to have lighter skinned kids, daughters with 'good hair'.
5. Social mobility, white bf or husband is moving up socially.
6. Psychological disdain for their color, culture. "
On a sidenote, you may ask why even talk to him RCNAL? For me I get to hear the right wing arguments and know what their talking points are and counter them. I learned a lot in how to not get gaslighted. Some things come down to 'I'm white and I say so'.
Also, his engineering Black engineering friend grew up in a Boule` family. He went to private school, both parents educated, well off, and he went to Southern undergrad because he didn't feel connected to the black community enough. According to the white guy his friend who he says is good looking but you'd think was possibly white on the phone said his experience at Southern sucked. Black women weren't dating him. He was majoring in Engineering, great grades, mostly A's, but the frat guys and athletes had all the women and surprisingly enough dope boys!. Said they came to the parties, and women were hooking up with them big time.
He knew a few girls from growing up, great families, and they were dating the 'Alpha' males, athletes, etc. According to him, people went to Southern University for black culture and to party. They went to Tulane for the education, LSU for both.
So, this made a huge impact on him. Sisters are tryna holla at him as he got his masters in Engineering. He makes well over 6 figures and some of the same women he knew from school are trying to holla at him hard. He said he went away for the weekend and one girl literally slept in her car not knowing he left for a weekend, but thought he was with another girl and stayed outside his place. Not a ratchet, but a "good" girl from a decent family. Some of the boule` families only marry within their social class.
So he dates but doesn't want to get married.
It really made a big impact on him.